Coping with Miscarriage after 40: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

I was in total disbelief and felt like such a failure. I found myself reflecting on how easy it was to get pregnant the first time around and how this shouldn't have been any different. My husband and I got pregnant again but a few months later but I lost another baby. The doctor told me due to my age; I wouldn't be able to stay pregnant and needed to go to the fertility doctor who would be able to best assist. I scheduled an initial Zoom call with a fertility doctor who told me all the tests I would need to go through to get started. After speaking with the doctor, I decided to get a pregnancy test to start the process and was surprised to learn that I was pregnant again without the assistance of fertility treatment.

Experiencing a miscarriage is a heartbreaking loss, but through faith in God, healing and hope can be found. Trusting in His plan, even when it feels unclear, provides comfort and strength to endure the pain. I thought about the rainbow and what it represented in scripture. Rainbows represent a promise. God always keeps His promises. Prayer, scripture, and leaning on a community of faith can bring peace and reassurance, reminding you that you are never alone. In His love and grace, there is the promise of restoration and the ability to move forward, carrying both the memory of your loss and the hope of His continued blessings.

Coping with Miscarriage: Finding Strength in a Difficult Journey

Finding Comfort in God's Word

• Psalm 34:18: "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." This verse reminds us that God is near, offering solace in times of deep sorrow.

• Isaiah 41:10: "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Lean on His strength when yours feels depleted.

• Matthew 5:4: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Trust in His promise to bring comfort to your grieving heart.

Healing Through Faith

• Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This verse offers reassurance that even in loss, God’s plans for you are filled with hope.

• Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Trust that He is working through your pain to bring healing and purpose.
  

Experiencing a miscarriage can be an incredibly painful and isolating event, but it's important to remember that you’re not alone, and healing is possible. While every person copes in their own way, here are some steps and insights to help navigate this emotional journey:

Acknowledge Your Feelings

Grief takes many forms—sadness, anger, guilt, confusion—and all of them are valid. Allow yourself the space to feel and process these emotions without judgment. There’s no “right way” to grieve, and healing is not linear.

Lean on Your Support System

Reach out to those you trust, whether it’s family, friends, or a counselor. Sometimes, sharing your pain can lighten the burden. If you're not ready to talk, even the quiet presence of loved ones can be comforting.

Seek Professional Help When Needed

Miscarriage is not just a physical loss; it’s an emotional one as well. Therapy or support groups can provide valuable tools to cope, connect with others who have similar experiences, and find your way forward.

Practice Self-Care

Your body and mind need care and compassion. Rest, nourish yourself, and engage in activities that bring you peace—whether it’s journaling, spending time in nature, or simply taking a deep breath.

Honor Your Experience

Some people find healing in creating rituals to honor their loss, like planting a tree, writing a letter, or lighting a candle. These acts can provide a sense of closure and connection.

Remember, it’s okay to grieve, to seek help, and to take time for yourself. Healing from miscarriage is a deeply personal journey, and you deserve all the kindness and support you can give to yourself during this time. If you've experienced this loss, know that you are not alone, and your strength is greater than you may realize.